Uncertainty!

When you are not sure of what your existence means anymore. Why am I alive? Why do I have to suffer? Why being alive is too painful? Why does it hurt so much and why do I have to force myself to get up each morning just to suffer? Is my only purpose in life to gove everything I have and everything I can, until I get dried out and there won't be anything left for myself? Do I really have to live? Am I really alive right now? Or am I just trying to survive each day? Can't I just end things my way? If I leave, will I be called crazy and stupid and all those cheap insults? I think what's holding me back to end things already is the sole reason that no one would really care. I'm scared that no one would really care. Like right now. I cry for help each time, but no one notices... no one wants to listen.